When It’s Cold Outside

I want to be these kids right here

Embed from Getty Images


I want to enjoy the brisk air, pink noses, hot chocolate, and bundling up to go outside.

I don’t.  I’m this kid here

Embed from Getty Images


I hate to be cold.  I really really really dislike it.  I have tried to acclimate myself, but it hurts in my bones.

That being said, I learned to like snow about 9 years ago so I am pumped for the forecast for this weekend!!!  Even if I don’t take Bart out (he’s not really a snow bike) I’m planning to beg and plead with Homie to go exploring with me!




True Confessions

I’m not riding my bike today.

I want to want to.  I really do.  But it is 13 degrees with a wind chill of -1.

I want to enjoy riding in the cold.  I want to embrace biking in all seasons.

I thought that having the appropriate gear for winter would make biking just as awesome as the rest of the year.  But to be honest… I don’t enjoy it.  I don’t mind into the mid to low 30s.

It’s not necessarily fun, but I don’t really mind it and most days I feel like I warm up after awhile.

But when it’s below 32 it’s just not fun.  I can’t breathe and my chest hurts and I then I get a cramp in my side because I can’t get a deep breath and my nose runs like a faucet and my glasses fog up and I alternate which fingers I can’t feel even inside my gloves and when I get into the garage at my building and hop off my bike I feel like I’m walking on bricks because I can’t feel my feet.

Even despite all of that I was planning to bike today because I need it mentally.  I figured having to go in for a meeting to discuss funeral plans would put biking in the cold in perspective.  But then Homie told me that it’s too cold for him to ride.  He rode last week when his sweat froze to his collar and thought it was awesome, so if he says it’s too cold to bike it’s too cold.

However, I am insanely pumped for snow this week!!!   I don’t think I will take my bike out because my bike is a city bike.  It’s more of an asphalt in the tropics type ride, but I’ve got snow boots and pants ready to go for a walk.  And possibly I could be convinced to take my bike out maybe.


It has been a rough week. 

My immediate supervisor died unexpectedly Wednesday. He turned 53 on Tuesday. 

I don’t think I can even convey how much he was loved by everyone. 

I rode my bike home last night and thought about him the whole way. 

He loved this office, he loved our people, he loved his wife and daughter, and he loved this town.

I can barely handle the thought of walking into the office and not hearing his laugh each morning. 

Frank, I’m gonna miss you buddy. 

This ride was for you.  


When You Realize…

You’re not doing a terribly great job at being an adult.

Something crazy happened this past week and I was asked for some documentation about my degrees.  Easy.  Except that I can’t find my actual paper copy of my most recent degree.  I have my transcript but not the actual paper degree.  And they wanted a copy of the paper degree.

But what I did discover while searching (because I have a distinct memory of putting the paper back in the cardboard folder, then in an envelope and sticking it someplace “safe”) is that I apparently put my Staples rewards card which I have been looking for for 3 years in the fireproof lock box.

I guess because it says “permanent member card” my brain decided that those words gave it appropriate status to belong in the indestructible box.

My brain did not however, think that the title to my car is worth putting in the indestructible box because I found that in a manila folder in a plastic organizer on the bookcase in the hallway.

So even as I reflect on last year and my 2015 goals and all the progress I have made, I have encountered several similar things the last few weeks where I have been forced to face the fact that I’m not actually terribly on top of being a responsible adult.  I’ll just add that to the 2016 goals list.  Once I make the list that is.

Who Am I and What Am I Doing With This Blog?

(I wrote briefly about this a while ago)  I used to blog on another WordPress site.  I actually had what I would consider to be a pretty large number of followers considering I just wrote about the random everyday type of things that occurred.
But life became a series of extremely painful events.  Some of those events were mine and some weren’t.
Some of what I needed to get off my chest was too raw to share with people who knew me IRL.  Some of it was too personal.  Some of it brought me pain, but the events weren’t mine to share.  And so I couldn’t say any of it.
I couldn’t write.  Until I reached the point where I couldn’t not write either.
My solution was a new blog where no one knows my name.
I’ve been posting on this one sporadically for a little over two years now.
I don’t know what I write about.  I find myself torn because I want to be anonymous, I want to be able to write and work through the events of the past few years.  I also want to document what’s happening in my life and be able to be open and include pictures or references to things around me.
I’ll admit that I’m scared.  I’m scared that someone I know or work with will stumble across my blog and they’ll recognize my picture or something and then they will know things about me that I would never tell them.  That I would never trust them enough to say.    And then where would that leave me?
As I was trying to pick up the broken pieces of my life I realized that I had become a one-dimensional person.  I only had one goal for my life, and everything revolved around that single goal.  When that derailed it left me with nothing.  So I decided to make a list of characteristics that would describe the type of person I wanted to be.  Then I worked that list into a list of goals for 2015.  I had planned to write regularly about my progress on those goals.
But one goal drowned out the others, biking!  And now I’ve been writing a fair amount about biking.  I love it.  It’s the best.  It’s one of my favorite parts of my life hands down.  I want to be able to share pictures of my bikes, and myself with my bikes, and Homie and I biking, and places that I go.
I don’t know how that fits into the original purpose of this blog though.  I actually wanted to bike to help work through some of the same issues that prompted me to start this blog.  But now that the two have merged, I don’t know where I’m going with this.

Monday Mantra


I need to keep this in mind.  I thought I had been, but I had a complete meltdown yesterday that made it ridiculously apparent that no, I have not been keeping this in mind.

While I sat on his lap sobbing trying to explain why I was upset, Homie actually said these words to me.  It’s funny because I’ve never showed him this quote.  I’ve never told him that I pull up this image regularly to remind myself.  But these were the words he said to me in the middle of my meltdown.

It’s not failure if I’m still trying because it isn’t the end yet.

Wedding Week

It is now officially wedding week!

Yesterday on my #coffeeneuring trip (more on that later) I rode by the ceremony site and it looked beautiful!

I successfully obtained the marriage license on Friday and got post-cards which they are using in place of a guest book.  I checked the White House Gift Shop for postcards because I thought they might have some really cool ones.

They did not.  Especially not for $1 or $2 apiece.  I continued down 15th Street and perused the gift shop truck vendors until I found one that had a good variety and then bought the postcards I needed for 25 cents apiece.

The only crisis still currently waiting to be solved is to get Mergsie’s pants (that will make sense later, promise) fixed.  Hopefully that will be accomplished by my tailor first thing on Friday morning.

It’s possible and probably likely that some other crisis will arise this week, but I think we have enough of the prep done that we can handle it.

I’m getting excited!