(I wrote briefly about this a while ago) I used to blog on another WordPress site. I actually had what I would consider to be a pretty large number of followers considering I just wrote about the random everyday type of things that occurred.
But life became a series of extremely painful events. Some of those events were mine and some weren’t.
Some of what I needed to get off my chest was too raw to share with people who knew me IRL. Some of it was too personal. Some of it brought me pain, but the events weren’t mine to share. And so I couldn’t say any of it.
I couldn’t write. Until I reached the point where I couldn’t not write either.
My solution was a new blog where no one knows my name.
I’ve been posting on this one sporadically for a little over two years now.
I don’t know what I write about. I find myself torn because I want to be anonymous, I want to be able to write and work through the events of the past few years. I also want to document what’s happening in my life and be able to be open and include pictures or references to things around me.
I’ll admit that I’m scared. I’m scared that someone I know or work with will stumble across my blog and they’ll recognize my picture or something and then they will know things about me that I would never tell them. That I would never trust them enough to say. And then where would that leave me?
As I was trying to pick up the broken pieces of my life I realized that I had become a one-dimensional person. I only had one goal for my life, and everything revolved around that single goal. When that derailed it left me with nothing. So I decided to make a list of characteristics that would describe the type of person I wanted to be. Then I worked that list into a list of goals for 2015. I had planned to write regularly about my progress on those goals.
But one goal drowned out the others, biking! And now I’ve been writing a fair amount about biking. I love it. It’s the best. It’s one of my favorite parts of my life hands down. I want to be able to share pictures of my bikes, and myself with my bikes, and Homie and I biking, and places that I go.
I don’t know how that fits into the original purpose of this blog though. I actually wanted to bike to help work through some of the same issues that prompted me to start this blog. But now that the two have merged, I don’t know where I’m going with this.