Who Am I and What Am I Doing With This Blog?

(I wrote briefly about this a while ago)  I used to blog on another WordPress site.  I actually had what I would consider to be a pretty large number of followers considering I just wrote about the random everyday type of things that occurred.
But life became a series of extremely painful events.  Some of those events were mine and some weren’t.
Some of what I needed to get off my chest was too raw to share with people who knew me IRL.  Some of it was too personal.  Some of it brought me pain, but the events weren’t mine to share.  And so I couldn’t say any of it.
I couldn’t write.  Until I reached the point where I couldn’t not write either.
My solution was a new blog where no one knows my name.
I’ve been posting on this one sporadically for a little over two years now.
I don’t know what I write about.  I find myself torn because I want to be anonymous, I want to be able to write and work through the events of the past few years.  I also want to document what’s happening in my life and be able to be open and include pictures or references to things around me.
I’ll admit that I’m scared.  I’m scared that someone I know or work with will stumble across my blog and they’ll recognize my picture or something and then they will know things about me that I would never tell them.  That I would never trust them enough to say.    And then where would that leave me?
As I was trying to pick up the broken pieces of my life I realized that I had become a one-dimensional person.  I only had one goal for my life, and everything revolved around that single goal.  When that derailed it left me with nothing.  So I decided to make a list of characteristics that would describe the type of person I wanted to be.  Then I worked that list into a list of goals for 2015.  I had planned to write regularly about my progress on those goals.
But one goal drowned out the others, biking!  And now I’ve been writing a fair amount about biking.  I love it.  It’s the best.  It’s one of my favorite parts of my life hands down.  I want to be able to share pictures of my bikes, and myself with my bikes, and Homie and I biking, and places that I go.
I don’t know how that fits into the original purpose of this blog though.  I actually wanted to bike to help work through some of the same issues that prompted me to start this blog.  But now that the two have merged, I don’t know where I’m going with this.
Advertisements

Monday Mantra

trying

I need to keep this in mind.  I thought I had been, but I had a complete meltdown yesterday that made it ridiculously apparent that no, I have not been keeping this in mind.

While I sat on his lap sobbing trying to explain why I was upset, Homie actually said these words to me.  It’s funny because I’ve never showed him this quote.  I’ve never told him that I pull up this image regularly to remind myself.  But these were the words he said to me in the middle of my meltdown.

It’s not failure if I’m still trying because it isn’t the end yet.

Wedding Week

It is now officially wedding week!

Yesterday on my #coffeeneuring trip (more on that later) I rode by the ceremony site and it looked beautiful!

I successfully obtained the marriage license on Friday and got post-cards which they are using in place of a guest book.  I checked the White House Gift Shop for postcards because I thought they might have some really cool ones.

They did not.  Especially not for $1 or $2 apiece.  I continued down 15th Street and perused the gift shop truck vendors until I found one that had a good variety and then bought the postcards I needed for 25 cents apiece.

The only crisis still currently waiting to be solved is to get Mergsie’s pants (that will make sense later, promise) fixed.  Hopefully that will be accomplished by my tailor first thing on Friday morning.

It’s possible and probably likely that some other crisis will arise this week, but I think we have enough of the prep done that we can handle it.

I’m getting excited!