So I’m a Mean Person


You see this beauty? I want it. I want it all to myself. I heard last week that the peak may be delayed and I was pumped!  I selfishly don’t really like the Cherry Blossom Festival. Hordes and hordes and hordes  and hordes of people meandering around, behaving badly.

Do not pick the blossoms. Do not hang on the trees. Do not climb the trees. Do not stop in the middle of a packed cross walk to take a photo. Do not stop in the middle of the street to take a photo. Do not pose your family for 15 minutes while people wait to continue along the sidewalk between you and them. Do not bring your kids in a stroller, the sidewalk is a disaster of tree roots and you will get stuck and spend 5 minutes trying to navigate the stroller off of a single root. Do not let your child pee on a tree. Do not throw rocks at the ducks in the Tidal Basin and laugh when they think it’s food, that’s cruel. The sidewalk around the trees is the size of a normal sidewalk, do not hold hands with your 17 closest bffs and walk down it. Do not open an umbrella unless it is actually raining, you will take out countless eyeballs if you do. Do not hold your wedding ceremony on the sidewalk and mow people down when Park Police show up because you don’t have a permit and the wedding party takes off running in different directions. Do not enter the Metro station and stop directly at the bottom of the escalator and stare. Please please please walk left, stand right on the escalator. And for the love of God do not throw your trash into the Tidal Basin.

Those things should not need to be said. But unfortunately every year I witness some horror of etiquette. The last 2 years the trees have peaked exactly during the festival. But this year, the peak may be delayed! And that means that it may be just a little quieter, a little more peaceful, with a little less hawking of “I ❤ DC” t-shirts when the trees are at full bloom. Maybe that makes me a mean person, but I sure am excited at the prospect of seeing the trees with a little less craziness.


4 thoughts on “So I’m a Mean Person

  1. I guess I’m a mean person, too, because the Cherry Blossom Festival always signals the start of DC tourist season and I think it’s the worst! Especially when it comes to the spring/summer Metro situation 👎

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