The Fall

This fall of 2013 was overwhelming for lots of reasons. It was followed by disappointment after disappointment.

I thought I would be converted from an intern to a full-time employee October 1, so Homie took a new job that began September 4th.

We went and looked at an apartment on September 9, but had this weird gut feeling that we should not sign on it, even though we both really liked it and it was only two blocks from his office.

The next day I was told completely unexpectedly that my job offer had to be rescinded and they were not able to hire me.

No explanation was given and I was completely devastated.

I finished the project I was working on and ended on September 18th. It seemed silly to come in two more days when I had nothing to do, and I obviously wouldn’t be starting any new projects.

That first full week being at my parents house hanging out wasn’t too bad because I had a job interview on the 17th that had gone really, really well. After the interview was finished they had me wait for a few minutes and then had me meet immediately with HR to get all of the particulars about salary, pay schedule, overtime, uniforms, insurance etc.

I then went straight into a meeting with the background investigator and she gave me a giant packet to complete which I did right there with her in the office so that they could get it done as quickly as possible.

I left that day after being told that while my start date wasn’t certain, they would contact me and I would either be the next person brought on or maybe the one after that but they for sure had a vacancy for January so that would be my latest start date.

I was beyond elated. Homie was so proud of me he bought me a bouquet of flowers and a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice.

And then on October 4, just a few days after getting back from one of the worst trips I have ever had to make I got a letter thanking me for applying and letting me know that they would keep my information on file but at this time they did not have a position for me.

What the fuck. I have no idea what happened. Absolutely no clue. The only negative in the whole entire background interview process was when she asked if anyone in my family drinks to excess. And in that second my in-laws previously poor behavior with alcohol flashed through my mind. And I felt like I needed to include that even though I don’t have a close relationship with them.

So I mentioned that the only people I have ever seen drink to the point of being drunk (in my family) are my in-laws. And then I had to answer extensive questions about their drinking habits. Which I really don’t know because a couple of times being present when they were drunk was a couple of times too many. I avoid being present when they are drinking. The questions kept coming and I tried to make it clear I really don’t know their habits, just that they do drink to the point of excess. Finally the investigator asked, “do you think they would show up here drunk?”

My response was as close to a “hell no” as you can give in a job interview. I explained this was social/lonely drinking and that they have never ever driven drunk to my knowledge.

In my head I was thinking “dude, you are assuming that my in-laws would even know where or when I work which is kind of unlikely.

And I really have no idea if that influenced their decision. I don’t know. It’s hard to think that it didn’t since that is the single negative answer I gave about anything. I have the squeakiest clean record ever. I have never even been pulled over by the police.

I have never been out of the country, I don’t have friends in foreign countries, I’m not part of any kind of group or organizations except some service/charity organizations.

I literally have no idea what went wrong.

When I got the letter I was so devastated. I walked out of the house and walked through the dark neighborhood with my chest heaving in silent sobs.

I went to bed immediately because I couldn’t even handle being awake. I didn’t want to think about anything. I just wanted to cease to exist at that moment.

Even more so than the position that I thought I was going to get as a result of my internship, this was my dream job.

I haven’t touched the letter since that day. I still don’t really let myself think about it.


One thought on “The Fall

  1. Pingback: A Hard Week | Thoughts from this curly girl

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